WLANL - vdt.rolf - Appolo (romein)

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I know I may be jumping the gun but … My heart skipped a beat this morning when I saw the number in the scale! I have dreamed of seeing a 4 in the middle position for months!! When I was in the 270’s and 260’s,  the 240’s seemed so far away! A dream … a hope … Now I entered the 240’s and cannot be happier about it! These next 10 lbs will be a pleasure to lose. Just the vision of having a 4 right there in the middle will make it all exciting. I have not been here for a long, long while.  Not only that but the numbers that follow are each ‘escalatingly’  better!

I say this often here on my blog, and I will say it again because I deserve it.  I am so freakinly proud of myself.  The joy I feel inside, for me, is immense.  I did not know how much I mattered to me until now.  Having others being happy and proud of me is very nice, but it pales in comparison of how I feel about myself! Before I would let myself down all the time, I would not even apologize internally.  So what happened? Why now my opinion of me is the most important? I developed a self awareness I did not have before.

This new feeling radiates into other aspects of my life. For example, I deserve to be loved with respect and admiration. This elevation of self has made our marriage so much better.  I see in my husband’s eyes not only love, but admiration and respect, I matter in his eyes, I exist, and I am wanted! Before when I could care less about myself, I did not see these emotions in his eyes.

In social circles I shine brighter, I feel safe because I have myself by my side. This security draws people to me.  Even the clicky group of moms that usually ignored me, at kids drop of and pick up time, now embrace me.  I am still not the most popular girl in town, but I am no longer the outcast.  High school never ends!

So cheers to myself and to loving who I am!!!

Tally:  74 days gone,  291 to complete transformation and 3 days to next weigh in!

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